- Previously on Warehouse 13...
- You want juice or are you a milk person?
- Know what I'd really like?
- Oh, I do indeed, but falling off the wagon...
May not be the best option.
- Haven't seen you around before.
Are you new?
- Eight years, actually.
- Just--just a minute.
What is this?
- Sometimes he forgets we answer to a higher authority.
- What higher authori--
The regents.
These are the regents?
This waitress is a regent?
- Who would you have control the Warehouse?
Kings?
Popes?
Politicians?
Be nothing left of it.
- Mr. Valda, you tell me right to my face.
Either fire me or kill me...
Or let me do my job.
- A missing walking stick?
A stick that causes earthquakes?
- Say it.
- It doesn't mean that this is it.
- Oh, it kills you that I figured out one first.
- Just because the robberies involved...
- Earthquakes.
- What some people reported as earthquakes...
- Ah!
- And there happens to be a piece missing
From a nearby exhibit about an earthquake...
- The largest one ever felt in england,
A country not known for its earthquakes, by the way.
- It doesn't mean that this is the artifact.
- [in british accent] chin up, watson, old bean.
We can't all be as brilliant as sherlock Lattimer.
Ahem.
- Hey, Pete? - Yes?
- The case is intact and the lock's not picked.
- So what, inside job?
- Peruse their payroll?
- After you.
Ooh.
Victory lap.
- Will you get over yourself?
- What's that you say?
- Grow up.
- Ahh. Ooh, ooh!
[imitating Morse code]
[imitating early 20th century news reporter]
News flash! Stop.
Bering to admit she was wrong. Stop.
Pigs standing by for maiden flight.
- Stop!
You do see the "do not touch" signs everywhere?
- New favorite job perk:
Officially allowed to ignore velvet ropes.
I'm on this side. I'm on this side.
I'm on this side. [door opens]
- Hey, Pete. - Yeah?
- The sign for the stick was still there.
- Okay?
- Well, the museum hasn't reported a theft.
They haven't noticed it's gone.
- He puts it back.
- When he's not using it.
[deep rumbling]
Whoa!
Oh! - Myka, look out!
- Ah!
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Okay.
[alarm ringing]
That way? - I'm on it.
- Secret service.
One of your security guards is getting away
With a stolen-- - You, hold it!
- I don't have time for this.
- Mrs. Frederic?
- It's no time to explain.
This is of the utmost secrecy.
You cannot tell arthur or even Agent Bering.
- Okay.
- I want you to throw this mission
And let the artifact get away.
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Mrs. Frederic, what is going on?
- That's an order, Mr. Lattimer.
I'll contact you later.
Go!
- Pete!
Pete, where's the guy?
- I don't know.
I lost him.
I thought he was out here, but he's gone.
- Guess you can spare some time for us now.
- [sighs]
[ethereal music]
♪
- Yeah, they're secret service.
- We're not gonna press charges.
- I thought fishing you out of custody
Would be like old times, Lattimer,
But you and your friend are both fully clothed.
They catch you too early or too late?
- Well, I've matured since then.
I get arrested in my pants all the time now.
- I'm guessing you two have met?
- Kate logan, chicago field office.
The cops called us to check out your story.
- And you heard my name and wanted to see me.
- You know, I could just vouch for you
And we could leave him at the early man exhibit.
- Awesome. I like her.
- Hmm.
That's a good one.
I didn't know you transferred to chicago.
- I didn't know you transferred
To super-secret south dakota.
Is that a promotion or a punishment?
- Yeah, well, it depends on the day.
So far, today's good.
Anyway, I got to get back to my case.
- Ahh, yeah, a stolen walking stick.
Defcon four.
- Well, it's part of my new look.
You know, top hat, monocle, big stick.
- Mr. Peanut. Very sexy.
- So, uh, you showing up here means
I should call you, right?
- Call, don't call.
Same as always.
- Play date over?
- Not if I can help it.
- Thief's name is lenny malone.
Has a sheet--two petty thefts, one assault,
And now he's in the wind.
- We were in d.C. Together. We used to--
- It's clear what you used to.
I'm more interested in what happened here last night.
- [chuckles] nothing.
I just lost him.
[Farnsworth buzzes]
- You two out of the clutches of the lakefield police department?
- Yes, thanks to Pete's old girlfriend.
- Yeah, I probably don't want to know what that means,
But consider that the frying pan.
Now get back here and brace yourselves for the fire.
- Hey.
- So what's this about a fire?
- Agents Bering and Lattimer,
Back from losing another artifact.
Once again involving local police
And unauthorized members of the secret service.
- We didn't lose an artifact. - No, no, no, no.
- I don't know who you are-- - Myka, Myka--guys.
[sighs]
This is benedict valda.
He's one of the regents.
- Our regents? The regents?
- No, Pete, the south dakota college board of regents.
Yes, the regents.
- That's unusual, right?
An in-person visit from a regent?
- Was unusual for the first 30 years that I worked here,
But lately, I guess we just can't be trusted to do our jobs.
Mr. Valda could have done all this by courier,
Not brought my agents back from the field.
- That's quite enough, agent Nielsen.
I brought these agents back due to their repeated inability
To protect this organization from unwanted scrutiny.
The regents have decided to become more hands-on.
Moving forward, you can expect me to be--
- All up in our dust traps?
- Shh.
- You, in particular, miss Donovan,
Should consider yourself on notice.
Your inclusion in this group at all
Is a matter of lively debate.
- Don't waste any time on me.
I'm just tech support. - Claudia.
- Yes, you are.
- Nuh-uh.
I got this.
- Remember what I said.
- I can input that. - I'll handle it.
I want you two back in illinois.
Find that stick.
- Artie? - Artie?
What's going on? Why can't I see that?
Is there something about me on there?
- I cannot believe a regent was just here
And he's pissed at us.
This is probably your fault.
I never thought I'd be in a rush to get back
To lakefield, illinois.
Pete, you coming?
- Uh, yeah.
I got a thing first.
I'm allowed to have a thing.
- Okay.
You know, it's a strange time to have a thing.
- So what's with all the cloak and dagger?
Keeping secrets from my team really isn't my thing.
- Get in.
Some of the regents are concerned about a pattern.
Artifacts being used for criminal gain.
- Like malone and the walking stick.
But that's not so unusual.
- It is if it's someone on the inside.
We have every reason to believe that there's a breach,
Possibly at a high level.
We need your help in finding out who.
- So if the regents asked me to throw the case,
Why was valda tearing me a new one?
- That visit was planned some time ago.
Any changes might have alerted our culprit.
- Whoa, whoa.
Look, okay, wait.
You can't be thinking that the breach is Artie or Myka.
- Have you forgotten recent events?
Could you doubt that anyone could be compromised?
- Okay, so then why trust me?
- Because keeping secrets from your team
Really isn't your thing, which makes you
The least likely suspect.
Have I chosen poorly?
- No, ma'am.
- If our hunch is correct,
Malone's supplier will try to approach him
For his cut of the take.
Go to work as usual.
Keep your eye on malone.
If you need to contact me,
You break the window at the end.
This is strictly between you and me.
Understood?
Good.
- Hey, uh...
So are we, like, friends now?
Right. See ya.
- What are you hiding from me, Artie?
Schmancy new security measures. I am impressed.
But did we remember all temp copies,
Mirror drives, and image backups?
[imitating Elmer Fudd] Silly "wabbit."
Too easy.
"Donovan contingencies"?
Cool. I'm the star of a ludlum novel.
Look, it's encrypted.
That's so cute.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
- So you think the cops already tossed it?
- No, this looks like malone grabbed some clothes and ran.
Power's off. [flicking light switch]
- Uh... [chuckles]
Are you trying to, you know, pump the electricity
Up to the light or--
- No.
[flicks light switch rapidly]
[both gasp]
- Ha-ha!
Geez, god, Myka.
- Well, is there something down there?
- No. It's nothing.
I'm gonna go check his trash.
You keep poking around here.
- Okay. - All right?
- Yeah, okay.
- Valda.
- Pete?
Pete, where are you?
- Someone there?
[electricity crackles]
- Pete?
- I got him!
I got malone!
Come on!
Wait a minute. Wait--
Wait a minute. I tesla'd the guy.
He was out cold.
- Well, was he meeting someone?
- Yeah, he was--
I mean, no.
I didn't see anybody else.
- You're sure it was valda?
- 1,000%.
- Did he see you? - I don't know.
But now we know it's not Artie or Myka,
So let's bring them in on this.
- Listen carefully.
The regents have kill authority on anyone
Deemed a threat to the Warehouse.
Telling the others will only put them in harm's way.
- Well, then let's bring this guy down now.
- Leaping too quickly with someone like valda
Will put a bullet in your head.
What we need is evidence.
Malone and the walking stick.
And I need for you to find him first
Before the police or Agent Bering.
I'll contact those regents I know I can trust.
Patience, Mr. Lattimer.
- Right, well, I'm not too good with patience.
- Challenge yourself.
- Hey. - Hey.
Where have you been?
- I had a car thing.
Wow. You've been busy.
- This is everything from malone's apartment.
You know, something doesn't add up.
Okay, I'm him, right?
I have...
The walking stick.
I mean, why do I go back to the apartment?
Did I stash something else that I need?
- [chuckles]
Is that the walking stick?
- No, Pete. This is a snack.
- Ah.
- Mmm.
- Myka? - Yeah?
- Did you check the last number dialed?
- No, I didn't.
That's a good idea.
The phone jack's over there.
[phone redialing]
[phone trilling]
- Ahem.
- Pines place motel.
- If he wasn't meeting anyone else in the apartment,
Then why was he there?
- Yeah, got me.
- Is there anything?
- Nope.
The last number dialed was take-out.
- Huh.
[sighs]
- I'm gonna go check his trash.
You keep poking around here.
I got a thing first.
I'm allowed to have a thing.
I lost him.
- You want to talk about this?
- This is why I said leave it alone.
- Then maybe you shouldn't have put it on the computer.
That's like me leaving a cake out with a note on it
That says, "not for Artie."
- That was one time and I--
Don't you have a boyfriend that you could be irritating
Instead of me?
- He dumped me. - Oh, I didn't know.
Do you want me to call him? - Artie!
This is a list of ways to kill me.
- Oh, they're not...
All killing you.
There's other options here.
- "erase her memory"?
- Well, that's comparatively humane.
- "drop her in a non-english-speaking country"?
- See, they're just trying to stall for time.
They know you're gonna find your way back.
- That doesn't make me feel any better!
- Don't you think that there's a file like this on all of us?
Don't you know that there's one with my name on it?
- And are you okay with that?
- Claudia... [sighs]
You are a valued member of this team
And no one is gonna erase your memory
Or dispose of your body in a vat of acid.
- Is that on here too?
Oh, my god.
- It's there? - Yeah.
Uh-huh. Number 11.
- Artie?
I think Pete's drinking again.
- What?
No.
[chuckles] What?
No, no, no.
What?
- We're just asking because we're worried about you.
- [sighs]
- Yeah, bro. We're your friends.
- Tell me this is some kind of a--
A weird, uncomfortable surprise party.
- Pete, you've been acting strange this whole case.
You been lying.
You've been making up excuses to be alone.
Look, your hands are shaking.
- For crying out loud, you--
You--
I'm sorry.
You guys, this is sweet, really, but you're wrong, okay?
You're wrong.
In eight years, I haven't even had
A virgin daiquiri.
- Then what?
- I'm not drinking.
[woodpecker pecking]
[bird squawks]
[grunts]
[cell phone rings]
That was quick.
- Secrets are a naughty thing, peter.
- You listen up, valda.
- Look behind the tree in front of you.
- Valda--
- You two have been busy little bees.
She'll never see your signal, by the way.
- Where is she? - She's alive.
I have a man watching her through the scope of a rifle.
I need you to tie up one loose end for me.
- Oh, yeah? And what's that?
- Mr. Malone. Where is he?
- No, no, first, you call your man off Mrs. Frederic.
- I'm afraid not.
When I call you again, be ready to deliver malone.
- Now how do I know you won't kill her anyway?
- You're in no position to quibble, peter.
I could kill your whole team.
- Hey! The others don't know anything!
Okay? You leave them out of this.
- That's entirely up to you. Are we clear?
- Here's what's clear, pal.
You tell me I have something you want
And then you threaten my friends.
So you are going down.
Game on.
Game on!
[pop music]
♪
- He's not at the b&b.
- His cell goes straight to voicemail.
- He's taking himself off the grid.
- He left this.
- Agent kate logan.
Pete Lattimer.
Damn it.
Okay, uh, tell her I need an address
For a benedict valda.
V-a-l-d-a.
Thanks.
Lakefield.
Pines place motel.
Hey, buddy boy.
Remember me?
I'm the guy from the museum
You tried to kill with the battle axe.
Now how do I find benedict valda?
- Who? - Valda!
- Ah!
- The guy you met in the alley.
Or should I hand you over to him like he wants?
- I don't know any valda.
Okay, all right, look.
I took the stick from the exhibit.
I admit it.
- You're working together.
I saw you paying him off.
- Look, you're crazy, man.
No, no! Okay. - Where is it?
- It's under the bed.
It's right under the bed.
[door opens]
Hey! Hey!
- [sighs]
- Hey, handsome.
What can I get you?
You feeling all right?
- Um, yeah.
It's just a long night. That's all.
Thank god. Hey.
Coffee?
- Maybe you should stick with decaf?
- That's a good idea.
Two, please.
- Coming up.
- Okay, first, that message was the least-romantic
Booty call ever.
What is with this valda character?
- Why? Why?
Did something happen?
- Guy doesn't exist on paper,
But ever since I poked, my place was trashed,
My phone's been bugged, and someone's been tailing me.
- When I find that s.O.B., I am gonna--
- Don't worry.
I'm a big girl, but someone's definitely
Sending a message.
Either that or you've gone way too far
Making up an excuse to see me.
- [chuckles] no.
It isn't me.
You're still hot, but not
"trash your place just to get a date" hot.
- It's happened.
- I'm sure.
- Okay, then...
Think it's time you let me in.
What's the division you're working for?
- Well, let's just say I'm in containment of threats.
- To the president?
- To the planet.
Okay, okay. Right. I know. I know.
I know it sounds like I'm wearing a tinfoil hat
To keep the aliens from stealing my thoughts,
But, kate, I'm serious.
I can't tell you what I do.
Thanks.
Ahh.
- So valda, how does he fit in?
- He's way up the food chain, and bad.
Like, keyser soze bad.
I don't think this is decaf.
- Okay, how are you supposed to find him?
- When he came to visit us...
He had a driver and a limo.
So they had to get gas, right?
Maybe he used a credit card or,
You know, got themselves on camera.
- You're going to check every gas station,
Restaurant, and rest stop for 100 miles?
- Where I work, there's only, like, six.
- Still a lot of legwork.
- Look, if your partner and everyone you worked with
Had their lives threatened, wouldn't you do it?
- Yeah.
Thanks for dragging me into your fun world.
- I thought you were happy to see me.
- I kind of liked you better when you were helpless,
Pantsless Pete.
- [chuckles]
Well, the pants are imminently removable.
- What?
- I honestly had no idea
This is where my day was headed.
- Everyone's hands where I can see 'em!
Logan, get out of here.
- What?
Myka, what the hell are you doing?
- What am I doing?
You've gone awol.
You've stolen an artifact
And you won't tell anyone what's going on.
What am I supposed to think?
- Mrs. Frederic can explain it.
- Mrs. Frederic is missing.
Valda is calling the shots
And he thinks you had something to do with it.
- Myka, valda is the guy I'm after.
If Mrs. Frederic is missing,
Then he either has her or she is dead.
- Look, all I know is I have my orders.
Don't make me do this the hard way, Pete.
[deep rumbling]
Ah!
[tires screech] - Come on!
- Pete, do not get in that car!
Pete, please! Hands on the wheel!
- Hey, Myka! Myka, put the gun away
And we'll talk, okay?
You have no idea what valda is capable of!
- Pete, just come with me and we'll sort this out, okay?
- Lattimer, get in the car!
- Logan, please!
I'm just trying to keep you alive, okay?
- Take the shot. Take the shot!
- No! [gunshot]
[horn honks]
Oh, my god. Kate.
- Pete!
- Wait. Excuse me, ma'am.
Ma'am, you c--
- It's all right.
Kate, Pete's in trouble.
- Pete's stuck in some sort of paranoid delusion.
The way that he ran. The note.
He thinks that someone is out to get him.
We don't have any of the details yet,
But we think that he was affected by, um....
Something during a mission.
- Right. Your "secret" missions.
Why come to me?
- Well, one, he called you, so whatever's going on
In his head, you must be a part of it and...
Two... [sighs]
Well...
He's back on your turf.
We pulled this off a chicago city surveillance cam.
Yeah.
- What is he doing?
- I think he thinks that he's kissing you.
- Uh-huh?
But it could be you though, right?
- [chuckles] it's highly doubtful.
My money's on you.
Um, he left you a message?
- Yeah, it was weird.
Here.
So why is he fixated on valda?
- I think his mind is scrambling together details
From his life the way you do when you're dreaming.
He's constructing some kind of fantasy
With valda and malone, the walking stick.
- Well, could this walking stick have caused it?
- It didn't affect malone.
No, I think whatever this is, it started in that museum.
Did Pete touch anything while you were there?
- Artie, it's Pete.
It would be easier to list the things
That he didn't touch.
- Oh, god. Okay, show me.
- Okay, he played with, um,
Some of these billiard balls.
- Myka, Myka, what else? What else? What else?
- Then he played with these glasses
And this pipe.
- Why did you let him touch all those things?
- What am I, his kindergarten teacher?
Plus, you know, we didn't know there
Would be two artifacts in the same place.
- Myka, it's a museum.
It is filled with things from historical events.
Anything there could be an artifact.
You cannot let him touch anything.
- Artie, it's Pete, okay?
It's a win when he doesn't lick anything.
- [sighs]
Yes, what else? All right, fine.
- All right, he put this thing in his ear.
That's a good way to get an infection if you ask me, but...
- Yeah.
- Then he--
Oh, he clicked this telegraph, then--
Oh, right, then he-- - Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
- Telegraph? Go back. Go back. Go back.
Show me the telegraph.
- Here you go.
It's military. 1860s.
Telegraph island, oman.
- Telegraph island?
Oh, my. Wait, wait, wait.
I know that. That sounds familiar.
Myka, wait. Wait one second.
All right. Telegraph island.
A remote outpost between england and india
In the mid-1800s.
Reported that every--
Every soldier posted there went violently insane.
- Well, that--
It sounds "artifacty," right?
- You think?
No, wait.
It hasn't affected anyone since.
- Well, is this it or not?
- Only one way to find out.
[cell phone rings]
- Pete, it's Myka.
Just tell me that you can hear me.
- Yeah. Yeah, I can hear you.
I just don't know what to say to you.
I keep--I keep telling myself it wasn't our fault.
And I couldn't say anything to you,
Because I was trying to protect you.
- I'm here, Pete. I'm safe.
- Got katie killed.
- What? No, no, Pete.
Kate's-- kate's alive, okay?
I just left her.
Pete, you've been affected by an artifact,
The telegraph.
I think you're hallucinating.
- Valda's filled your head with lies.
But I'm about to fix all that.
So you, and Leena, Artie, Claudia,
You guys will all be safe.
- Pete, no, okay?
Don't do whatever it is you're about to do.
Okay?
You might feel something strange.
[high-pitched whining]
Anything?
- I've been listening, peter. - Valda?
- Pete, did you hear what I just said?
- Where's Myka?
- Now you've compromised the others.
Do you realize what I'll have to do?
- Valda, I'll trade you malone for Mrs. Frederic.
- I don't know how to reach you.
- You meet me at the kemper recycling yard.
- Hey, boss.
- There's no effect.
He's still inside of whatever's going on.
- At least now we know where he's going.
And I think I have just the thing
To restore Pete's neural rhythm.
- Agent Lattimer!
I understand you want to speak with me.
- [screams]
- What in god's name--
- Shut up.
I've heard enough of your voice
To last a lifetime.
- I don't know what this is all about, Agent Lattimer,
But you have my attention.
All right?
- You recognize this?
- It appears to be the artifact that you were after,
The walking stick.
- "it appears to be the--
The artifact you're after."
Shut up!
We're all alone out here, valda.
Quit playing the game.
I got the stick, I got malone,
And I got you.
Now what did you do with Mrs. Frederic?
- Mrs. Frederic?
Look, I want to help you.
But none of this can be--
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah!
Myka tried that line on me.
She was a good little soldier.
She fed me your garbage about a telegraph
That's making me see things.
- Telegraph?
- Time is running out, benedict.
- Telegraph.
What do you remember?
Is there anything unusual about it?
[loud thuds]
Think!
[loud thuds]
- Just stop trying to confuse me!
- I'm not confusing you.
You're seeing clearly.
Try to remember.
- I said shut up!
[horn honking]
- Pete!
- Agent Bering.
Be careful.
- Myka!
Look, this is gonna sound kinda freaky,
But...
Are you guys really here?
'cause valda's been messing with my head,
And I don't know what's real anymore.
- Yeah, we're really here.
Okay? Pete?
And we're gonna help you get outta this.
[loud thuds]
- Oh, they're here, peter.
- Almost ready.
- You really think I'd come here
Without backup?
- Myka, you and Artie,
You gotta get outta here.
He's got--
He's got snipers all over the place.
[screams]
Where is Mrs. Frederic?
- Artie. - Agent Nielsen!
- I am aware of the urgency.
I've got something that'll reset his neural rhythm--
The original studio master of oye como va.
[tito puente's oye como va plays]
[loud thud]
- Music to die by, hey, peter?
- Just stop it!
You stop!
- Ahh!
Okay, listen to me, Pete.
I really need you to not do that again, okay?
- The irony is Myka's gonna kill you for me.
She has to protect the regent.
And then I'll kill them
Before your body's even cold.
[chuckles]
- This music is just not getting through.
He's still listening to that telegraph.
[loud thuds]
- Myka, he wants to kill us all.
You and Artie just get outta here!
- Agent Nielsen!
- Yeah, I'm-- I'm working on it.
- You back off! You hear me?
You back off or I'll kill him!
- I've got to find something that can--
I've got it.
- Okay, Pete, I'm gonna come over there,
And you're gonna give me your gun, okay?
- Here it comes, peter.
- Stop!
[screams]
[tito puente's oye como va plays]
♪
- Pete?
- I hope the aural and visual combination
Shocked him back to reality
And didn't turn him into a...
- Ow.
My eye's already open, Artie.
Geez.
[grunts]
- Hey, are you okay?
- Uh...
I have no freakin' idea.
- Well improvised, agent Nielsen.
- Yes, there is a madness to the method.
- Agent Nielsen.
- Yes?
Oh.
Yeah, of course.
- What happened?
- It's a long story.
- Oh, god.
Are you here to kill me?
- If I was, you'd already be dead,
And I'd be halfway to dinner.
- Yeah, you know, it's just
'cause I shot at a regent.
- Mr. Valda, though unhappy,
Understands the circumstances.
- Yeah, well...
I'm not sure I understand the circumstances.
- The telegraph seems to have tapped into
Some subliminal anxiety,
Not surprising given what you've all been through of late.
- Yeah.
Sorry.
I just wanted to make sure you were real.
- Take some time off, Agent Lattimer.
- Yes, ma'am.
I'm just gonna finish up these reports.
And, you know, it's funny, we--
How does she do that?
- I'll be at the Warehouse.
- Oh, Artie, hey, listen,
I understand the need for that contingency file.
So if you ever have to take me out...
- This is how you want to die?
- Yeah.
- Well...
I do know how to reach david bowie.
- Yes!
You rock.
Oh, Pete, there's an envelope on the table for you,
From kate logan.
- Ooh. - Are you gonna call her?
- Nah, I don't think so.
- Well, why not?
I mean, you must have some feelings for her.
She was, after all, in your fantasy.
- Oh, well, thank you, dr. Freud.
- Open it.
Open it.
- [sniffs]
- [laughs]
- "hope you're better.
"Myka forgot this.
Thought you'd want it."
- Oh, god. - What?
- Just don't play that.
I mean, you're not interested in her anyways, right?
So you can't--oh. Pete, you're just--
- What? What? I'm not unless she is.
- Ugh, oh, god.
You're gonna be embarrassed.
Pete, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm so--
- Hey! Hey! Hey!
Even by myself, I still got moves.
Oh. Oh.
Yes, yes, yes.
You know they called me "gene simmons" in high school.
Don't stop.
[laughs]
- You're insane.